Well, well, well.
It’s been a little while since I actually sat down and wrote
a column, perhaps a few months. Allow me
to explain.
Thirteen years ago when “Ask Bob” started, me and the ol’
lady didn’t have no kids. I literally
didn’t have anything else to do.
Once TheWeirdcrap.com was created, my job was the weekly
contribution of the “Ask Bob” column.
Since then, the ol’ lady and me done made ourselves two
lovely daughters, and although we both have less casual time, that’s not the
reason my columns have decreased.
First, I lost my computer room when baby gurl #2 was borned,
I moved our 10 pound computer and 40 pound monitor to the lower tv room. But that still isn’t the reason columns
decreased. I still jotted down ideas
while watching the news. Although busy,
I still wrote columns on a regular basis.
As the children grew, the TV room became a TV
room/playspace…me and my computer was moved to the lower basement (where the
actual furnace is). There I sit in a
poorly lit room with a concrete floor, plumbing a few inches above my head,
with the drone of either the heater or air conditioner always keeping me
company. Oh did I mention, I also share
the room with our kitty’s litter box.
Our kitty is actually a big fat 20 lb cat and has the
smelliest poops I have ever smelled.
Once I came home and the whole house smelled like poo. I searched the entire house certain I would
find a nice heaping pile of steaming kitty poo.
Instead I found nothing! Just one
big poop in the kitty litter box…the smell traveled 3 floors! I had to change the kitty litter and open
windows to get the smell out.
So now to work on the web site, I have to find a moment that
I can excuse myself from the family all together and go the basement. There I huddle in a corner with the computer. I wear peasant gloves with no fingers in an
attempt to stay warm during winter months.
I also wear a ski mask. It serves
two purposes, keeps my head warm and it serves as filter over my nose to help
keep the smell of rotten cat intestines.
I also burn a candle down there, a little heat and it helps with the
smell.
There were so many reasons not to write a column, I just
didn’t do it very often. But today I am
writing my column while half watching the news in a heated room. I am so excited, look à(!). I have a state of the art laptop so I can
work on TheWeirdcrap.com anytime anywhere, without holding my breath!
For many years I have resisted new technology beyond a basic
pc with 96 megabites of RAM drive, but new laptops are cool!
Anyways, enough about me.
I will now explain how the entire nation can avoid the
fiscal cliff in one simple sweep. The
Senate needs to take the Republican “Plan B”, pass it…word for word, no
changes. Then send it to Congress, it
will get passed with Democrat and Republican votes (minus the Tea
Party-Nordquist nit-wits).
I don’t even know what’s in “Plan B”. Not exactly what Obama wanted, but good
enough.
Now consider the political ramifications of Democrats coming
together to save a Republican plan that Republican themselves couldn’t get
passed. It will change public consensus
from a broken Washington to a broken Republican party. And save the country financially!
Two years from now the solution for a broken Washington will
be to elect folks who can get things done, a Democratic Congress and get rid of
those Nordquist -saluting -morons (and by that I mean the “party of no
accomplishment” also known as the “party of No” also known as the “The Tea
party”.
That in itself will be worth the loss income revenue…besides
with a Democratic Congress, the balanced budget will be within the horizon…
And now you know!
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