Lipstick on a Pig.

Just for laugh’s I logged onto HBO’s website for “Real Time with Bill Maher” and read about all the folks debating Barack and McCain. I found nothing more than Republicans calling Democrats stupid and Democrats saying, “Naw-uh.” But what I really noticed was the Republican folks didn’t have a nice two-word slogan that discredits and insults the candidate while getting the Republicans into an emotional whirlwind.

"FLIP-FLOP" That's what we need. A slogan that's simple and easy to remember.

Example: Lets go back to the last election and say Kerry had an opinion about a policy change. He researched it, discussed it with experts and came to the conclusion that a change from the original draft might be better. Makes sense, but it’s a “FLIP-FLOP!”

Since the world of politics is filled with compromises, this can be applied to anything that any politician has ever done. Except Bush who has never compromised or got anything done.

It doesn’t even have to make sense, as the next example shows.

Lets say, McCain used to be right-handed. Then in Vietnam, his right arm was broken in four places with seventeen fractures. Now he's left-handed. Oh my God…he “FLIP-FLOPED!”

I love this expression; you can use it for anything. Actually I’m sure McCain has always been left-handed. But who needs a political attack to be true or to even make sense.

God I wish I had one can of “Billy Beer.”

Now Barack used the lipstick on a pig analogy and McCain’s camp says he’s picking on the republican V.P. nominee. The fact is, they’ll do anything to redirect attention away from McCain’s political decisions, advisors, and economic plans and redirect the public toward the VP nominee.

“The Surge” was a success! “Sucka-please,” this was a battle. The war is Iraq. We’ve lost thousands of American soldiers and have gone into debt for countless generations for a war that should have never been approved. This surge is a fragile victory in saving some valuable lives; however, the goals outlined prior to the surge were not achieved.

I’m glad we did something that saved lives, but why all this attention to a battle strategy in a war, when the issue is the war itself?

It’s like putting your had in a pot of boiling water, then bragging about how good a job you did treating the burn when the real issue is not putting your hand in the water in the first place. Ok, good job treating that burn.

Back to the VP thing. This is just a lay-mans opinion, but I just don’t think she’s Presidential material. I believe she recently said with a firm brow and tone of confidence, “Let there be no doubt about this, we still may find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.”

Lets see, no weapons found so far. I know raising kids is a full time job, but we should all try to read the headlines at least once every five years. I know John McCain has newspapers lying around ‘cause he don’t know how to use the internet.

Anyway, I think her qualifications and reputation are a mute point because as much as I like McCain, he’s not going to be President, and she’s never going to be Vice President, so I say we just ignore her like an unpleasant rash.

How do I know McCain will loose you may ask?

Simple, he’s just too complicated for the Republican Party. The candidate of change, the experience candidate, the war-hero, the gender-breaking candidate…it just too much. True, each point will create a jump in polls, but it won’t translate to votes four months from now. Although the leaders of the Republicans are bright, the base is – followers. Throw too many variables at them and they’ll think you’re trying to trick them and they won’t buy.

What they need is a simpler message, with an easy to remember two-word slogan that denigrates Barack. Good luck.

Now lets turn to Barack. Some folks wonder why he isn’t fighting back. Where are the details of his so called economics plan? What does he plan to do point by point in Iraq and Afghanistan?

I’ll tell you exactly what he’s doing, he using generalities and being hush-hush about the specifics on purpose. Any information he leaks will give McCain’s campaign people a chance to write up a rebuttal and air TV commercials with non-sense replies.

If he waits until the debates, it’ll be him and McCain. No strategists, no P.R. machine, no TV commercials. I just don’t think McCain will be prepared enough to effectively debate the complex issues surrounding the details of international politics and world economics.

McCain will make a number of mistakes and possibly look foolish and it will be done on national TV in a one-two punch manor. And that’s just one nose-dive I don’t think McCain will walk away from.

COMING NEXT…Why does my rubber tree keep lying down?