What's it all about?

Jimmy from NY asks:
All this talk about creation and evolution confuses me, just how did we get here?

Bob writes back:
Well that’s a tricky one it is. I don’t know the whys to that question but I did some research and I think I know the how.

It all started when a chap named Bobby Franks who decided to take the day home from work.

You see, he had a nasty bit of a cold and just didn’t feel up to working. He watched the morning news and just got fed up. The terrorists are gonna attack, danger here, danger there, the war overseas, it was too much to take in with a head cold.

Then there was the bit about the asteroid. Apparently the space administration had predicted that an asteroid was headin’ our way. Not a direct hit mind you, but it was coming close enough to supposedly cause tidal waves, quakes, and all sorts of damage.

“Just another anomaly that they’re using to boost insurance sales.” Bobby figured and didn’t pay it any mind.

He shut off the T.V. and went out to fetch the morning paper, “…at least I can enjoy the funnies,” he thought to himself as he stepped outside. Feeling a build-up in his nose he hocked a big fat slab of snot on the sidewalk, wiped the sweat off his forehead and picked up the paper and looked up toward the sun.

It was unusually hot but instead of the sun he saw something else.

The last thing he saw was a big flash of light.

And that was that.

I hope this answers your question, Jimmy.

Now on to something completely different.

Looks like there are all sorts of debate over Iraq. It’s all very complicated, but the best I can figure is we have to do whatever, puts as few Americans in harms way until Bush leaves.

Here’s why. Other countries have concerns about what’s happening but they won’t get involved in the political process or provide troops to maintain stability until Bush is gone. He wanted to “Go it alone.” And I think they are gonna let him do just that.

But when he’s gone, the new President will denounce Bush’s policies and then the rest of our allies and the world will come to help stabilize the country. Right now, we’re like the little child that made a mistake, but refused to say they’re sorry. It’s as simple as that.

As for the solution, I don’t know what that will be, but this needs to be a world problem, not a U.S. problem.

Perhaps they can split the country into three different political states that all have equal say in the government. That way each party has a safe haven (in their territory), and they have equal voices in the political process.

I’m guessing that with a central monetary system where each side gets a fair share of profits of the other sides, there won’t be any fighting over oil and stuff. Also the expenses of each side would be shared. So if a terrorist attack by one side harms the finances of the other, they’ll actually be harming themselves, because not only will they loose income, they’ll also have to help pay for the expense of fixing up the place they just bombed.

It’s just an idea. Remember you heard it first here.

And now you know.

COMING NEXT: So how did we get here again?