Monday, April 16, 2007

Anna, Anna, Anna…

A day late on posting my regular Monday column; however, I was pretty sick and I just didn’t have the energy to think about anything. Luckily the bug only lasted a day so I can give all my regular visitors a dose of Senitram.

Speaking of visitors, our traffic here at is about ¼ of what it was a year ago. I can only blame myself, since I hardly have time to post fictions stories these days. We got plenty submitted, but with a new infant time is short. Remember, back in the day, we had no kids and my wife was a full time student. I literally had nothing else to do!

Speaking of nothing else to do, lets talk about Anna. It was finally determined who Anna Nichol’s daughter was, and to tell the truth I was surprised. This is why.

At work, folks couldn’t think of anything else. It was Anna this and Anna that. But one co-worker kept saying that the dumb-blonde thing was all an act, and she was actually a very smart person.

Well I figured if she was smart, she would have sent the thousand year old billionaire to a sperm bank one day and froze a few of his billion dollar sperm. She could’ve just given him some Viagra and a playboy that featured herself. He would have forgot the next day anyway.

If he refused, she could have fueled him with Viagra again, and gone bobbing for apples. When the dirty deed done dirt-cheap was done, she could just spit his babies it into a baggie and froze it nice and solid.

Then when all hope was gone of getting his fortune, she could have been artificially inseminated with the billion dollar pollywogs. And just like that she would have a genetic heir that would guarantee instant bank deposits.

That’s what she would have done if she was smart. It would have required planning for the unexpected (like a two-hundred year old man kicking the bucket). Remember she did get him to change his will, this would have been a back-up plan…again, only a smart person would have a back-up plan.

As it turns out, smart or not, I guess she wasn’t the “brain” that my co-worker’s bragged about.

Speaking of “brains”, I got this email from one of the few loyal visitors recently:

Jon from LA writes:
“Back in the day, it was dumb-Bush this and dumb-Bush that. Now you hardly mention his name, despite all that has happened. What gives?”

Dear Jon,
Back in the day, Bush had his goose stepping Republicans on the rampage. It was kind of scarry, I thought we might become a country “occupied” by a republic blind with power and war.

Not only has Bush failed to create a police-like state, he has failed in more ways than I would wish on any single man. Although you can still view the war-hungry, liberty-bashing Republicans screaming for more, more, more; I don’t think anyone listens.

I used to dislike George Bush, but to tell the truth, now I just feel sorry for him.

And now you know.

Coming Next: I had a sticky note, but I lost it!

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